Why is Hanukkah decor so ugly?

I am *over* the tacky plastic sisterhood garage sale aesthetic. So I spent too long searching the Internet for bespoke Hanukkah items. Here's what I found.

A few years ago, my aunt and I were discussing an untapped market that we are both members of: Jews who want to decorate for Hanukkah, but who also hate ugly shit.

By “ugly shit,” I am specifically referencing this very 90s Temple Gift Shop aesthetic, which is still ALIVE AND WELL:

We literally had these in our house growing up, simply because there were NO OTHER Hanukkah decor options.

First let’s get this out of the way: Yes, I know there’s a lot of cheap-ass, ugly Christmas crap, too. I’ve been to HomeGoods (and am still processing that trauma).

What is happening…are we OK as a society? I mean…I know the answer is no.

But there’s also a lot of really elegant, well-designed, aesthetic Christmas decor/party supplies and accessories, too. You have a ton to choose from! You could choose to decorate in a Tinsel High-End Glam Aesthetic or Vintage British Cottagecore or Sleek + Sparse Scandinavian or Cute + Silly Santa. There are ENDLESS thematic options….here are a few mood boards I found SO FAST…

Pick your poison, goys.

But for Hanukkah decor, you really get two aesthetic options:

Option 1: Anxious Michael’s Mom on Ozempic

Option 2: Early 90s Temple Gift Shop Clip Art

And this doesn’t even count all the inaccurate or misspelled Hanukkah stuff out there (dreidels with the wrong Hebrew letters on them….Hanukkah spelled, like this…)

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HAVEN’T OUR PEOPLE SUFFERED ENOUGH?

Where is the sophistication? The elegance? The dignity?

I craveeeeee beautifully designed Judaica and am so over both the cheap kitschy crap and also the ultra serious stained glass “art” pieces, too.

Basically I just want MORE well-designed, thoughtful, Hanukkah-specific decor. Richer blues. Gold and silver. Or God forbid, white space.

Some color recommendations for manufacturing companies; it doesn’t all have to be BLINDING BLUE + TACKY YELLOW

The lack of this aesthetic has forced me to try and curate my own Hanukkah decorations over the years, which I’ve done by combining both Hanukkah-specific items with more general “winter” items (e.g. snowflakes, twinkle lights, tinsel, greenery, pinecones) and it’s kind of working? But I dunno, I just wish we had more to choose from.

So this week I spent a bit of time trying to assemble a secret third option.

I scoured the Internet in an attempt to cobble together some high-end-feeling decor and/or accessories that don’t feel sad. I still believe there is a market for this…so please someone with good taste go and make a new company/brand. I will give you all my money.

The Secret 3rd Option: Subtly Stylish Hanukkah Girlie

1. Rainbow Menorah: $218 Shop Tchochke

2. Stella Mirror Tray: $78 Adara Rituals

3. Hand-Painted Floral Wood Dreidels: $36 Etsy (Handmade in Hoboken)

4. Talia Dreidel Terrarium: $78 Adara Rituals

5. Star of David Botanical Decoration: $39 Peace Love Light Shop

6. Menorah Delicate Stud Earrings: $20 Bauble Bar

7. Rifle Paper Co. Hanukkah Gift Bag: $4.25 Anthropologie

8. Artisan Dreidle Candle: $63 Pottery Barn

9. Hanukkah Throw Blanket: $91 Etsy (By The Nook)

10. Shayna Menorah: $278 Lulu and Georgia

11. Festival of Lights Paper Goods: Daydream Society

12. 8 Nights of Hanukkah Lip Balm Necklace: $34 Super Smalls

13. Let’s Get Lit Hanukkah Pillow: $88 Modern Mitzvah

14. Make It Mazel Mini Bead Kit: $19 Super Smalls

15. Susan Menorah: $348 Lulu and Georgia

And Here’s Some Tablescape Inspo, Too

1. Star of David Napkin Ring Sets: $35-70 West Elm

2. Hanukkah Botanical Appetizer Plates (Set of 4): Sold Out Pottery Barn

3. Rifle Paper Co. Hanukkah Tabletop Gift Set: $21 Pottery Barn Kids

4. Ikat Indigo Cotton Dinner Napkins (Set of 4): $35 Crate + Barrel

5. Liora Star of David Votive Holders (Set of 6): $56 Peace Love Light

6. Sapira Hand-Beaded Table Runner: 260 Adara Rituals

This was pretty much it, you guys…slim pickings out there…

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Anyway, Hanukkah starts late this year. The first night is December 25 (why does that date sound so familiar to me????). So you have plenty of time to grab your cute Judaica and find that perfect latke recipe. Maybe consider this one that was printed on a hand towel from CVS:

Lol you guys. It’s lonely out here.

OH! And if you want a cute Hanukkah playlist, here’s one I made last year (ignore the fact that I designed and uploaded my own “album art” for this—and ALL my Spotify playlists—because I have a paid Canva account and am also unwell):