Include Jews in your activism
Oh, I'm going there: because why TF are Jews the only marginalized community that progressives don’t seem to care about protecting?
This artwork (by Jewish artist Ashley Goldberg) flashed before me as I watched my Instagram stories passively churn by the other day. I paused on the image and wondered:
Why does this feel so damn “controversial?”
I’ve been on and off Instagram since October 7; unable to look away from breaking news in Israel/Gaza and yet always leaving the app feeling either isolated or targeted by posts from strangers, as well as people I know. It’s become a type of Schrödinger's Cat for me (too afraid to look/too afraid not to look) as I navigate and examine my own politics in the wake of Hamas’ terrorist attack on Israel.
In a piece for The Free Press, Konstantin Kisin wrote:
“Many people woke up on October 7 sympathetic to parts of woke ideology and went to bed that evening questioning how they had signed on to a worldview that had nothing to say about the mass rape and murder of innocent people by terrorists. The reaction to the attacks—from outwardly pro-Hamas protests to the mealy-mouthed statements of college presidents, celebrities, and CEOs—has exploded the comforting stories many on the center-left have told themselves about progressive identity politics.”
It’s been a nightmare for me and many other Jewish progressives who hate Netanyahu/don’t want to kill Palestinian families and also believe that Israel has a right to exist and should be able to defend itself against terrorist organizations.
I’ve debated with myself for a month straight, asking questions like:
What kind of person could carry out the kind of violence that Israel saw on October 7?
If we didn’t have graphic videos of the attack, would anyone even believe this happened?
Why is there so much international pressure on Israel to cease fire, but seemingly no pressure on Hamas to return the hostages?
What would justice for the attack look like? Is it even possible?
How would the world’s reaction be different if a known terrorist organization attacked any other country?
Why is Israel the only country that has to defend itself for defending itself?
How many Israeli civilians would be dead if they didn’t have the Iron Dome?
What happens if Israel agrees to a ceasefire and Hamas does not respect it?
Will this escalate into a larger war? Will other countries like Iran or Syria get involved? Will this be another world war in which Jews must defend our right to exist? Will we be blamed for this, too?
Will we ever feel safe?
Will we ever find peace?
And also: Why can’t Jews take up space? Why do people resent us when we do? Why do we have to try and convince people that we deserve a place to exist where we aren’t terrified? Is it even possible for a space like this to exist?
I don’t sleep anymore. I lay awake in my bed, 6,000 miles away from Israel. My daughters are tucked in their rooms under their down comforters, white noise machines humming in the background. We can’t hear bombs and are not being forced to hide or flee. And yet, this dreadful, restless, terrified feeling ripples through my DNA. Even though I’m not in Israel and I’m not Israeli, I’m a Jew of the diaspora and these are my people.
When you grow up playing Hide-from-the-Nazis instead of Hide-and-Go-Seek, you know that it might come to that one day. It’s not dramatic; it’s a possible scenario, because it happened before.
I can’t remember the first time I heard about the Holocaust. It was just always something I knew - like how the earth orbits around the sun. In 7th grade when we started the WWII unit in history class, I was shocked upon learning that most of my non-Jewish classmates hadn’t heard of the Holocaust before. They were rightfully horrified, but I’d already become sort of numb to it thanks to Number the Stars, The Book Thief, Schindler’s List, et al. The media was dense and never-ending and the message was clear:
We are different. We are not them. We will never be them. Holiday lights and nose jobs and flat irons cannot keep us safe. Do not get it twisted: they do not care about us. So we must care for one another.
“Them” meaning, non-Jews.
This never sat well with me. I grew up in an area with very few Jews and I wanted to believe that if there were any kind of crisis, my non-Jewish friends, neighbors and community members would keep me safe. I didn’t want to be a martyr and I resented the oft-internalized Jewish belief that folks are pretty much all antisemitic until they prove themselves not to be. It felt paranoid and self-righteous and unfair. Boy, was I fucking wrong.
October 7 confirmed my worst fears; some people are trying to kill us. Others think we deserve to be beheaded and raped, like it’s either karmic justice or the price of doing business. And many others simply don’t care if we live or die.
As Jews, we’re expected to surrender or scatter at the scent of violence. Nobody wants us to put up a fight and defend ourselves. They want us to light candles, donate money, remove our Magen David necklaces and slink off in fear. Well I don’t want to fucking do that anymore.
Let me be super clear: I don’t agree with killing or torturing families, babies, children, or people in hospitals or any civilians. They are innocents. I despise Netanyahu and think his attacks on Gaza are evil and also just plain stupid. He is walking right into Hamas’ trap.
But, I also fear a ceasefire will not make Israel safe. I am too jaded. I am too broken. I don’t believe Hamas will stop attacking Israel. Am I being paranoid or do I have a reason to feel unsafe? A spidey sense I share with my ancestors.
I don’t know how to live in a world where people hate others so blindly, so thoroughly, that they’re willing to walk into a place of worship or a concert or a hospital or a school and just start executing people. I don’t know how to be a parent. I don’t know how to answer my daughters’ future questions about being Jewish. About what happened to our ancestors and why and what it means for them...that they won’t just feel excluded at Christmas every year, but will also be actively hated for no reason other than their heritage and history. In perpetuity.
When my husband Brad was interviewing for new jobs in January, he asked for my advice answering a question he anticipated being posed by a prospective employer: “What if they ask me how I plan to manage any LGBTQ+ or BIPOC employees as a white CIS male?”
I thought about it for a moment and I said, “Can’t you explain that as a Jewish person you also know what it’s like to be alienated and othered, making you extremely empathetic to other marginalized communities?”
He laughed in my face.
“Elyse, people don’t think of Jews as being alienated or marginalized. They think we are all rich doctors and lawyers running Hollywood and controlling the banks and the media. They don’t feel badly for us.”
He’s absolutely right. Even though Jews make up 0.2% of the global population, we are somehow not seen as other. People don’t “feel sorry for us,” and I don’t want them to. I just want people to acknowledge that Jews live a life that’s also spent watering ourselves down for our own protection. We cloak and code ourselves so we can feel safe and be perceived as “Good” Jews (aka compliant and not obnoxious or extra or asking for too much). Jewish people have been victimized for centuries. Then we’re blamed for being victimized. And then we’re blamed for talking about being victimized. Cool cool cool.
And while I’d never compare being a white, western Jewish person to being BIPOC or LGBTQ+ (I’m able to pass as a straight CIS white WASPY woman - esp with a non-Jewish sounding name - which grants me more safety than others with intersectional identities), I AM other and I am also worthy of protection and safety, whether or not you believe I need it.
There’s no shortage of vulnerable individuals and communities. We’re not competing in the Suffering Olympics. It’s not a contest. So…why don’t progressives feel compelled to protect Jews or defend us in the ways they protect and defend other marginalized communities?
Do we need to suffer more? Do more of us need to die? Do we need to shut up and stop complaining? Be louder and bring more attention to the inequality? Or be quieter and meeker and hope someone swoops in to defend us (not a plan that has worked well for us, historically)? Do they believe the antisemitic tropes that we’re all rich and successful and already have safety? Do they think speaking up for Muslims and Palestinians means they can’t also speak up for Jews and Israelis? Are they so fearful of being perceived as Trumpian if they express empathy for “both sides?” No, really. I’m asking.
I feel guilty saying this, but resentment is starting to creep into my bones. I’ve grown more paranoid and hardened this month. Who can I trust? Who believes in my right to safety? Who believes me when I say I feel unsafe? Who dismisses it and thinks I’m a privileged white colonizing Zionist who should sit down and shut up and be grateful for the 0.2% of respect I’m shown? Who thinks my ancestors who had to flee from every home they ever knew for their safety don’t deserve a homeland?
For a political movement focused on creating safe spaces for everyone, why are Jews omitted from the list? Are we not impoverished enough? Attacked enough? Have we not suffered enough?
I wish there was a simple solution to the Palestine / Israel “conflict” (that feels like SO not big enough a word; ‘conflict’ sounds like they can’t decide where to order Doordash from).
I wish there was a kindergarten-level ideal; a “You get this and you get that and then we all live peacefully alongside each other forever and ever” compromise, but that is not possible. We’ve tried it. And it doesn’t work because so many people won’t be happy until every Jew is dead and every square inch of land we ever grew up on or prayed on or felt safe on is gone.
All I can do is try not to let my heart harden. To embrace my community, ask questions and try my best to articulate the handful of things I KNOW to be true:
Everyone deserves the opportunity to live a peaceful life with their families, without fear of getting bombed or starved out or shot or persecuted.
Everyone deserves access to water, food, electricity, shelter and a safe place where they can express themselves, practice their religions and pursue their passions without fear of persecution.
Governments, leaders and terrorist organizations cannot and should not use their own citizens as shields. It’s inhumane, cowardly and absolutely never acceptable.
People are not their governments. As someone who lived for 4 years in a country with DONALD TRUMP as president, I know this is true true true. Netanyahu does NOT speak for all of Israel of Jews. Not even fucking close.
Antisemitism is not just disliking or stereotyping Jews, but also minimizing the levels of violence we experience.
It’s possible to be critical of Israel and not antisemitic.
Jews deserve and need our own state. I do not trust anyone else to keep us safe.
There’s no ending to this post. There’s no solution. There’s nothing I recommend. No next steps or a neat and tidy list of how to support Jews. I have no hope. No hacks. No ideas. All I know is that for the first time I am relieved my mom is dead, because she’d be a fucking disaster during this.
This is a good thing you have written.